Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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