I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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