what day is it and did you see me today?
zippers are such a cool invention
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
