so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize