I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
