dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
