One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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