So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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