He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The ass gains better be worth it
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