"it" just moved
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
