Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize