I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize