and you said cock pushups were impossible
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
