after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
