cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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