i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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