Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?

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(309): View more from Illinois

It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.

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(510): View more from California

I'm trying to make a sex playlist

(916): View more from California

record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

YOUR STATE IS STUPID

(201): View more from New Jersey

Did you miss a turn again?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY

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(330): View more from Ohio

when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.

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