she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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