umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she peed on how many people?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
