he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
