Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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