Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
