Please, let me fuck your mom
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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