Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
