Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
