Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if only i could text you this smell
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
