it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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