Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
