Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
