She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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