Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
