Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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