I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
