they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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