I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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