david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize