Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
