they need to just BURY HIM!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
