apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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