I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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