his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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