To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
