i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
