for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize