Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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