Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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