I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
honey bunches of taint.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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