we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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