I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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