People in love make me want to vomit
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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