Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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