The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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