I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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