the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
