Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
