Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
