Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
