In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
True strength comes from lack of pants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
