I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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