EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
