Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
