Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
