mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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