did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This house was built for laser tag.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
