Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
