he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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