I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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