PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
