I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
vagina is talking i cant
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
