fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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