I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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