Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
