Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
