Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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