And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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