I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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