I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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