return my video game
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
