I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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