they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
