he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize