just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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