Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
